Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Why did the chicken cross the road?

The upgrade of an already famous saga, under construction, which is a humorous witty philosophical text in which different characters answer the simple but provocative question, "Why did the chicken cross the road?". The list of responses can be extended indefinitely, as evidenced by successive additions have been doing over time ... Anyone is encouraged to add your answer?


Elementary school teacher: I wanted to get across.

High school teacher, but explain it to you, dear beasts, can not understand.

Professor of Faculty: to know why the chicken crossed the road (subject to be included in the partial morning) read the notes from page 2 to 3050.

Plato: it was in pursuit of the good and harmony. Across the road is the truth.

Aristotle is in the nature of the chicken crossing the road.

Hippocrates crossed the road because of excessive secretions in the pancreas.

Buddha ask that denies your own chicken nature.

Zen Master: chicken can cross the road in vain, only the Master knows the sound of her shadow behind the wall.

Moses: And God came down from heaven and said to the chicken, 'cross road'. And the chicken crossed and he saw that it was good and everyone rejoiced.

Niccolo Machiavelli: the important thing is that the chicken crossed the road. Who care why? Only to cross the road justifies whatever motive and have had.

Galileo: and yet through it.

Charles Darwin: over long periods of time, the chickens have been naturally selected to develop genetically disposed to cross roads.

Karl Marx was historically inevitable.

Sigmund Freud: The fact that you are concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your strong feelings of latent sexual insecurity.

Nietzsche: The chicken crossed the road to kill God and take his place.

Albert Einstein: the if the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Stalin: the chicken should be shot immediately, and also the witnesses of the scene and 10 people chosen at random for failing to prevent this act of subversion.

Martin Luther King: I have a dream. I see a world where all chickens will be free to cross the road without having their motives called into question.

Captain James T. Kirk / Miguel de la Quadra: to go where no chicken has gone before another.

Master Yoda: Dark Side of the temptation very strong force is. Could not resist chicken cross road was.

Boris Yeltsin: polloooo ...? HIC! Were not three pink elephants ...? HIC!

Julio Iglesias: The chicken is going, going, going, going, vaaaaa ...

Bill Gates: Microsoft just launched the Chicken 2005, which not only cross roads, but it lays eggs, regardless of sex, file your important documents and make complex calculations. Chicken requires at least 512MB of RAM.

Francisco Umbral, I have come here to talk about my book ... And over time and only talk about chickens ...

Computer Support: I have noticed that the chicken has crossed the street. Resets the chicken and if it continues across, format it the road ...
Consulting cruzarAndersen cross or not: the deregulation of roadside chicken threatening its dominant position in the market. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the necessary skills to face the competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnership relationship with the client, helped the chicken redesigning its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration method (MIA), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align people, processes and technology in support of the chicken of its overall strategy within a framework Program Management. Andersen Consulting convened a multidisciplinary team of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry, discussed for two days, a series of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both explicit and implicit, and enable them to achieve synergy with each other to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successful design and implement a business value framework across the continuum of poultry processes. Meetings are held in an environment that reproduced a park, enabling and creating an environment of high impact was strategically located, focusing on the industry and developing a consistent message, clear and only against the market, aligned with the mission, vision and values top of chicken. This led to the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to be more successful. The chicken got AENOR certification to meet ISO 9000. (Editor's note: Actually, the chicken was killed by so long to cross).

Neighbor: you will not believe what he did the chicken from the 4 th B! Neither you imagine!

Magazine "HELLO", "the intimacy of the chicken and its latest projects:" I NEED LOVE ONLY COMES INTO MY LIFE FOR MY SUCCESS IS FULL ".

Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Hamlet: to cross or not cross, that is the dilemma

Federico Trillo and Ana Palacio: crossing may or may not cross.

Acebes and Zaplana: The chicken crossed the road to meet with ETA.

Josemari Aznar: look, the chicken was on a humanitarian mission / The chicken goes well.

Mariano Rajoy, the chicken crossed the road manipulated by the PSOE, to go and demonstrate against the PP.

Zapatero: State aid destined for 4000 EUR those chickens to cross roads.

Jesús Cardenal: you have to process all the chickens crossing the road that day because it was illegal.

Javier Arzallus: the road is to the Basques. The chicken "crossed" to trample the Basques and keep them under.

Carod-Rovira: chicken symbolizes the will of the Catalans. If crossed over was because they wanted to be Spanish.

The Church of Scientology: the reason is you, but do not know yet. Using a small fee of $ 1,500, plus the rental of a polygraph, a psychological analysis we will allow us to find out why.

Neo (The Matrix): The chicken did not exist.

Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road, I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road ever.

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

Bill Clinton: I swear on the constitution that nothing happened between chicken and me.

George W. Bush (short version): the chicken was hiding weapons of mass destruction and evaded the control of our troops. We have annihilated while crossing.

George W. Bush (long version): the fact that the chicken crossed the road there despite the UN resolutions is a serious attack on democracy, justice and freedom. This proves beyond any doubt that we should have bombed this road long ago. With the aim of ensuring peace in the region, and to prevent the values ​​we uphold are again attacked by this kind of terrorism, the government of the United States has decided to send 17 aircraft carriers, destroyers, 46 frigates and 154, with ground support of 243,000 infantry and the air of 846 bombers, which will have as its task in the name of freedom and democracy, eliminate any trace of life in the houses of 5,000 kms. around, and then secured with a very accurate missile fire that anything that looks from afar or near a chicken coop is reduced to a heap of ashes and can not anymore to challenge our actions with his arrogance. We also decided that then this country will be generously led by our government, which houses rebuilt according to current safety standards, putting his cock in front of a democratically elected by the United States ambassador. To finance all these reconstructions, we will comply with the absolute control of all grain production in the region for 30 years, knowing that local people will benefit from a preferential rate on a portion of production in exchange for their full cooperation. In this new country of justice, peace and freedom, we can assure you that a chicken will never attempt to cross a road, for the simple reason that no more roads and chickens do not have legs. May God bless America.

Juan Carlos I: Why do not you shut up?

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